Rising Again
Medellín, Sept 2023
I’m a phoenix rising from the ashes
I can have anything I want
I can create any life that I want from here
What is the life I want?
It doesn’t matter how I got here
It doesn’t matter what started the fire
Or that everything burnt down…
What matters is that I find myself
I pick myself up
Scared and emotional
And start cleaning up the mess
One little ash at a time
Until I can see the ground again
And the seeds can sprout.
Even volcanic rock
Can support life
After enough time
So you can too,
create new blossoms.
Stop looking for the greener grass,
Look for the dirt that you can fortify
Where there can be fertility
And be part of the nutrients that
Bring the flourishing back
It’s ok to be sad that the past is over
It’s ok to be angry about what happened
It’s ok to cry and scream
But don’t let the grief fool you
Into thinking that things were perfect
Or as good as it could ever be
It’s ok to be scared about the future
But don’t let the fear fool you
Into thinking that
Things will always be this hard,
That things will never be “as good as they were”
That something new will be “as bad as it was”
That you’ll always be alone
That no one wants to help you
That you won’t find new opportunities
That you won’t love again
All these thoughts are mere fantasies
We can’t do anything about the past
Except learn from it
We can’t predict the future
Just try our best right now
To create a better one
By putting forward
The best we have to offer
Right now
When you don’t know what to do
Just be.
That is enough for that moment
And maybe even for the next couple
Or even the next several
It’s ok if these feelings are sometimes
Too much
You can handle it
It’s ok to share them
There is no shame in needing support
From another
It’s necessary to feel these feelings
To let them out of your body
That’s how you can live fully
Embrace the hard feelings
And let them go
But don’t believe the lies
Your mind tells you when you
Are in midst of the feelings
The body feels
The mind thinks
When the body feels discomfort
The mind thinks unhelpful thoughts
And vice versa
Like an unending
Vicious cycle.
Which came first –
The thought
Or the feeling?
Some people believe
The thought caused the feeling
Other people believe
The feeling brought up the thoughts
Either way –
When one is extreme,
So will the other be
Distorted
In the same direction.
Be careful what thoughts you believe.
We have a tendency to think
Our thoughts are always true.
And to attach our own self worth
To the correctness of the thought
Or the righteousness in the feeling.
Remember that
These are just impulses
Passing through the body and mind.
They are messages
Meant to guide you on the path.
They are not YOU or YOUR WORTH.
You are not your thoughts.
You are not your feelings.
YOU are the being that
Experiences these things.
You are capable of managing them.
Even if sometimes,
Managing means
Simply being with them
Giving them the light of day
And some kindness
And compassion
And letting it take
The time that it takes
The resources that it takes
The help that it takes
To bring them back to
Neutral.
To peace.
To calm.
And then…
From that fertile ground
You can move along
To the next thing
Because
You are ready.
Ready for what’s next.
Ready to rise from the ashes.
Ready to receive the inspiration.
Ready to have a vision.
Ready to take action.
Ready to grow.
Ready to build.
Ready to connect.
Ready to be alive.
Ready to thrive.
This is what healing means.
Like the phoenix
You rise from your ashes
And figure it out
Until one day,
You look in the mirror
You no longer see the scars
You forget that you were burned
Because it’s just a part of you
And things make sense again.
